Wow, this unusual question got online traction! And some of the answers from men were quite surprising! All this during the high holiday season of 2023, gotta be a message therein!
WHEN DO JEWS THINK OF ROME?
Jewishly, we certainly think of the Romans on Tisha B’Av, the darkest Jewish day of the year when we fast and commemorate the destruction of the Jerusalem Temple (Temple II was destroyed by the Romans). On Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, we recall the Romans during the early afternoon Musaf prayer when we recall the Ten Martyrs, great Rabbis of the Mishna period killed barbarically by Rome in their persecution of the Jews. When else would we think of Rome?
But somehow, for some reason, quite a few men (at least based on the responses online) think of Rome more often than you’d think!
First of all, it makes you think what people think! You know those memes, with the wife in bed fretting over what traitorous thoughts her silent husband is thinking about, when often it is something so irrelevant, nonsensical, inconsequential. Sometimes we imagine or project the worst on another, when we ought to start by giving the benefit of the doubt, judging people favorably. Often (not always) we’re pleasantly surprised to learn that issues or concerns we conjured up were silly to even worry about. May it always be so! And may we worry and suspect less…
Now, this unusual question and the big online buzz about it can helps us think about the ancient history us Jews think about all the time. In general Jews are more in touch with our history, as illustrated by this Avram Infeld story. We heard him tell this story during his visit to UAlbany:
AVRAM INFELD’S HISTORY STORY
Avram Infeld (a longtime educator and educational innovator in Israel, also later served as President of Hillel International) was born in South Africa. His father was a physicist, his uncle was a physicist, and by his Bris they all kinda thought he’d grow up to be a physicist, too. After graduating High School his father came over to him and said goodbye. He asked his father where his father was going but his father that he himself was staying in South Africa, but he was saying goodbye because he was sending Avram to study at the Hebrew University in Israel.
Off Avram went to Israel and found his way in the halls of Hebrew University in Jerusalem. He spied a nice young Jewish woman walking into the history department. So he decided to major in history. But he had to explain this to his father, given the family’s fascination with physics and all the implied expectations. So he wrote his father a long airmail letter. How since his arrival in the fledgling state of Israel, he realizes how much history is hidden behind every corner, every stone has a story, the whole place is layered with generations and generations of history and therefore he decided to devote himself to the study of Jewish history.
His father wrote back a telegram. Long before email and messaging this was an near instantenous form of communication relegated to matters of most importance, because you paid per word. The telegram read something like this. (STOP was a way of indicating period or end of sentence). THEY TEACH HISTORY AT HEBREW UNIVERSITY? STOP. IMPOSSIBLE STOP. NO SUCH THING AS JEWISH HISTORY. STOP. ONLY JEWISH MEMORY!
History is the study of the past. Memory is how we currently live with the past. Computers and RAM bring this message home. RAM is not storage of old files. It’s how we function, its how we operate. Only Jewish Memory! This explains the Jewish fascination with Memory, the oft-repeated word “Zachor” and why Memories are a whole section of the Rosh Hashanah Amidah.
Of all the things we think of and remember from our Jewish past, perhaps we think of nothing more often (on a religious observance level) than the Exodus from Egypt:
REMEMBERING THE EXODUS
The Exodus! We remember the Exodus from Egypt on Passover, of course. But we also remember the Exodus every time we say the twice daily Shema, as the 3rd paragraph of the Shema mentions the Exodus. We remember the Exodus every time we say Kiddush on Friday Nights. Some recite Six Remembrances at the end of the morning prayer – and the Exodus is there, too. And we sing the Song at the Sea each day, also a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt. We speak of the Exodus after the Shema in each evening prayer service. There are four Torah Parshas Shemot, Vaera, Bo & Beshalach that vividly and visually portray the Egypt saga and the Exodus, complete with the 10 Plagues, so that’s four more weeks when the Exodus story is top and front of mind.
We Jews do a lot of thinking about the Exodus, which happened 3300+ years ago!
The Alter Rebbe asks about this obsession with the Exodus. Shabbos Kiddush is one example of where we think of Exodus and it doesn’t even make sense to! After all Shabbos reminds us of the original Shabbat, the 7th Day of Creation, it has nothing to do with the Exodus. So why mention the Exodus in Shabbos Kiddush? It seems like these men thinking of the Roman Empire when you’d least expect it or when it makes little sense…
But the Alter Rebbe explains: The Exodus isn’t only the ancient Exodus. It’s ongoing. Our whole lives are about an Exodus. Every Mitzvah is an Exodus, a release, an expression. Every Mitzvah creates a connection that frees us from limitation. In fact, the Alter Rebbe points out, the word Egypt in Hebrew is Mitzrayim, and that shares a root with the word “Meitzar” which means boundary or limitation. We live in a finite world, and our life’s goal is to bridge and connect with the infinite. So we’re engaged in a constant Exodus, going beyond, reaching above…
And Shabbos is a great example of that! Historically, Shabbos has nothing to do with Egypt and everything to do with Creation. But conceptually, Shabbos is a release from limitation, Shabbos helps us transcend, Shabbos helps bridge and connect the infinite and finite. Shabbos is indeed an Exodus!
THE EXIT SIGN REMINDS US!
Back in the old house, it was a small place, we once had the insurance company come over and do an inspection. The representative said we needed illuminated exit signs since (although a small home, the whole place was 1800 SF, including the bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen) since we were a place of public assembly.
I kinda balked at it. I was hesitant. Look, here we are working hard to create a welcoming atmosphere, getting people through the door and feeling comfortable and belonging. Imagine that the biggest and brightest words in the small room should say how to get out!? Ugh!
But I had to come to terms with it, we had to comply. And that’s when I realized something beautiful about the big bold red Exit sign:
A lot of what we do is help people EXIT! Exit the busyness, stress and hecticness of the week to experience Shabbos. Exit quibbles and quabbles. Exit their inhibitions and fears. Exit their status quo to reach higher and better. Exit – in a good way, in a meaningful way. Not an escape but a deeper dimension, exit to the next level.
As Alter Rebbe teaches us, every mitzvah, our whole life’s mission, is all a form of Exodus, we must rise above, reach above and transcend – as boldly illustrated by the Exit Sign, ever present in our Chabad (the new one, too, though less bold in our new bigger room) to remind us of this always!
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