by Raizy Rubin
I heard Rabbi Gluckowsky of Rechovot Israel speak at the Kinus HaMechanchos (womens educators) conference I attended this Summer 2026. One thing he said was a piece of advice he gives husbands: “Whenever you come home, first thing ask, ‘Where’s Mommy?’ Even if you assume or figure you know where she is, verbalizing it aloud, announcing it, demonstrates that you seek her, and that she’s the most important at home. She comes first. She is front of mind.”
This was a side anecdote, it wasn’t the main point of Rabbi Gluckowsky’s talk, but I almost laughed aloud. Mendel always does that! I wondered if someone taught him that in marriage classes? Turns out it’s just natural for him. He always does that. In fact, he also does it with the kids! When the kids are away at camp or a trip, and he passes their bedroom doors he calls out their names.
Then I realized that we also do this about the students at Shabbos House! Summertime we’re trying to meet new students at Orientation/Connection Days, and reaching out online and through students and friends, and mutuals in their home communities. Not only when students are here, but even before they come, we’re often asking, “Where are the students?” I am writing this as we’re packing up the Welcome Packages for incoming students that we have addresses for, and it’s a whole endeavor, a tremendous seeking, “Where are the students?”
To paraphrase Rabbi Gluckowsky: students are the mainstay of Shabbos House. Which is why we ask and we seek: “Where are the students?”
This also connects with the biblical story of G-d asking Adam in the Garden of Eden: “Ayeka – where are you?” (There’s a well-known magnificent richly relevant Alter Rebbe interpretation of this exchange, but this Rabbi Gluckowsky piece of marriage advice offers perhaps another way of reading it.)