This Shabbos is a special trifecta. (1) We read the weekly Torah portion of Mishpatim which deals with much civil law regarding damages and monetary matters, (2) we read the special reading of Shekalim about the half-Shekel coin contributed by each Jew for the Temple upkeep and (3) we bless the new Hebrew month of Adar which ushers in the joyous holiday of Purim.
But I can’t help but realize that for many – February 14th is on their mind. True, it’s not a Jewish holiday at all, and much of how its celebrated may be quite superficial… but what messages can we learn from this Shabbos’ trifecta about relationships?
SHEKALIM and the half-Shekel contribution is the most obvious connection. A relationship ought to be two halfs of a whole, each person completes the other and feels incomplete alone (modern therapists may dispute this last point). The Rebbe spoke about this theme at his last farbrengen in 1992. Each of us is only half. Together, each of us contributing, we become whole.
MISHPATIM deals with nitty-gritty everyday worldly matters. There’s nothing uplifting or inspirational about your animal destroying your neighbor’s property or a thief tunneling in to your home. This Parsha discusses things like disputes over loaned or deposited items and how to treat a servant decently. In relationships people tend to romantacize (pun intended) the lofty and idealistic moments, yet it is in the ins and outs of everyday living that a relationship thrives or dies. (We have a TorahTues on Tanya 25 that explains this). Love is in the details and in the everyday.
ADAR is the joyous Jewish month. The Talmud says that when Adar enters we increase in joy. It’s the month of Purim (and a shameless plug for this year’s Purim carnival and celebration #Purim2015isComing! to the Campus Center Ballroom). Of course everyone wants a happy relationship. Who would argue with that? Happiness is the objective. But happiness ought to be more than an objective in relationships, it’s also an endeavor!